Ethnography of Nine Year Old American Girls

Reflecting on my childhood, I recall a time of great wonderment. It reads in my memory like a beautiful fairy tale. Once upon a time there was a little princess. Her days were full of rainbows and laughter. Then, something happens. You must have seen it coming, this something, because every story needs some conflict. I recall that conflict, when, at the age of nine, some beast or fiend (time) magically transformed me from child to....something else. This "something else" was certainly not adult, nor teenager, nor even "tween"- a term used to describe per-adolescents between the ages of 8-12. It also wasn't child. Not anymore. That sudden switch from joyful innocence to something indescribable was a bittersweet recognition of change and loss. There was the realization that "childhood" was a definitive time period. I would not live in my dream world "happily ever after." For the first time, there was loss, not just excitement, associated with growing up. That was not the story I'd been told before bed at night.

If this time in childhood is not the fairy tale I had thought or hoped, what is it? What is the reality of it? I couldn't call upon my memory to answer this question. I'd be biased, and besides, that was a long time ago. So I asked the only one who could answer that question. No, it was not a magic mirror, but a child. A girl. A nine year old girl who could answer what it is to be a nine year old girl as she grows up- not in some land far, far away, but in a small, American town.

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess
Gianna has green eyes and a dirty-blond bob. She is petite, proportionate and perfectly comfortable in her body. She can do impressions of her friends and television characters and likes pointing out advertising tricks in commercials. She speaks quickly and punctuates thoughts with her hands when trying to explain an idea. She dances around the house and sings Regina Spektor's "Blue lips" with great confidence and way out of key. Regina is her new favorite singer, or at least one of them. Other favorites include Demi Lavato and Lady Gaga. Gaga sings, "that boy is a monster.... there's a monster in my bed"

"This song is about sleeping with a boy in your bed", Gianna tells me. I ask her how she got that idea. "She tries to hide it, but she says that he IS a monster and then says the monster is in her bed, which means the boy."

In a Land Far, Far Away
Welcome to the world of the nine-year-old female
Somerset is a small town in Massachusetts 44 miles south of Boston and 20 miles southwest of Providence. Gianna lives in a three bedroom cape on a corner lot in a quiet neighborhood. Of the 18,234 residents of Somerset, 9,599 are female. The town is 98% white. There are 5,320 family households. 1,964 of the households are families with children under 18 years old. 686 are households are held my females and 287 of those households had children under 18. Gianna lives in this place with her mother, baby brother and grandparents. She has moved three times in the past three years, but this has remained a constant HOME. Her father lives in an apartment in a neighboring town just ten miles away.

Gianna's backyard is her playground. The small pool serves as trampoline, wave machine, stage, and sometimes, another world. Gianna and her friends practice flips, hold handstands and volley beachballs.Sometimes children from the neighborhood ride their bikes over, towels in tow, to splash around in the pool. Usually though, these play dates require parental planning- and transportation. Her friend, Lexi, is dropped off by her father one afternoon, saying he'll come back to get her when the girls are done swimming, which could mean 9:00 pm. The girls live on the same block and are sometimes allowed to meet on their own to walk to each other's houses.

At Gianna's house, if they aren't in the pool, they are likely to be found in the clubhouse- a room above the shed equipped with screened windows, carpeting and electricity. Christmas lights are strung from the ceiling, casting a warm, comforting glow against the blue painted walls. The little room is lined with miniature furniture- a locker, a camp bunk and a Victorian day bed. Hung above the camp bed is make-shift hammock. All this is just big enough for her "girls"- her 18" American Girl dolls, Gianna's most prized possession. American Girls are fashioned after girls from different periods of American history. They come with a library of books about their history- fictional characters and circumstances in historic settings. Available for purchase with the dolls are historically accurate props. The company offers a teepee for Kaya, a Nez Perse Indian girl. Gianna rifles through the catalog, circling her wish list of items for her girls. She has three others apart from Kaya: Elizabeth- a colonial girl growing up in 1774 Williamsburg, and Julie and Ivy- two best friends in 1974's San Francisco. The dolls are kept in immaculate condition, and on many nights Gianna changes them into their nightclothes and tucks them into their beds. When her cousin, Rachel, comes over she brings her two American Girl dolls and duffel bag of accessories. They sit in the clubhouse for hours with the dolls. I am not allowed to take part in this ceremony. In fact, Gianna and Rachel are very quiet after they change the dolls' clothes and brush their hair, until finally Rachel turns to me and says, "Ummmm, can you please leave so we can play?"

Rachel has short brown hair, doe eyes and a solid, athletic body. She lives with her dad, mom and two little sisters, ages 7 and 3. She has a 22 year-old, half-sister whom she sees "twice a month". Her home is a modest, two bedroom ranch. The three girls share a bedroom. Rachel's sisters bother her and she will occasionally leave important things- like her American Girl Dolls- with Gianna so they won't be abused or damaged by her sisters. Rachel is passionate about softball and claims she is closer to her father than she is to her mother because "He lets me play softball and coaches my team". She thinks fathers, in general, are more fun and can associate with daughters better. Gianna disagrees. "Mothers are girls, so they understand. They've been through it all before", she argues.

Mirror, mirror on the Wall
self reflection
Adolescents are described as being self-conscious. If that's true, then these girls are still children.There is nothing that Rachel can think of that she would change about herself. She considers herself different from the girls at school because she likes sports. Gianna wouldn't change herself either. She considers herself "cool and fun" because "I can mess around but people still trust me". I ask Lexi about self-esteem as well. She considers the question about wanting to change herself. "Ummmm", she reflects longer than the others, maybe trying to find something. "Nah, nothing really," She finally answers. They are not completely unaffected by a new understanding of how they appear to others. They are much more aware of themselves and the impressions they make on people than they were at 5, or even 8. "I get embarrassed when I kiss Mommy and Daddy at school in front of my friends", Rachel confesses. For Gianna, it is just generally embarrassing to be around older kids and teenagers. "I feel really kiddish, so I just get real kinda quiet."

Stepping through the looking Glass
perceptions of loved ones
The girls don't yet seem to be at the point where they recognize the flawed, human side of authority figures, especially parents. At least not fully. If they do notice, they don't let on that they know. Nine-year-old Rose lives with her grandparents. Her mother lives next door to them. Rose sometimes wonders why she can't go live with Mommy all the time again, but doesn't appear to view her mother negatively because of it. She's been told her mother just needed a rest. "Do you see her a lot?" I ask.
"Um, not really. She works a lot" she says of her unemployed parent.
"How do you feel about that?" I ask, wanting to know if she has resentment that her Mommy doesn't mother her like she once did.
"I miss her, but she's just busy" she says simply. Then she walks away.
Gianna echoes this simple, unaffected attitude toward her parents' break-up: "Me and my dad have a very good relationship. He teaches me stuff and cheers me on at softball... I feel happy around him.He let's me do what I want. He doesn't punish me cuz he's not around much."
How come? I ask
"Cuz, Mommy and Daddy don't like each other. Well, Daddy likes Mommy, but Mommy only likes Daddy because Daddy likes me. They broke up 'cuz Momma wasn't feeling the love"
When did they break up?
When I was four or five. We lived in Fall River.
Then what happened?
Daddy still liked Mommy but Mommy didn't like Daddy because he didn't treat her how she wanted to be treated"
Then what?
Momma and me moved in with Vavo and Papa. Daddy moved back to Fall River.
He moved from Fall River to another place in Fall River?
No, first we all moved to Somerset together.
You moved to Somerset together after Mommy and Daddy were broken up?
Yeah I think so
So what made them move away from each other after that?
I don't remember.
Gianna gives up. It doesn't seem that she's been told all of these answers, but it also doesn't seem that she's really thought them through for herself either.

The Princess' New Clothes
fashion and other trends
Media influence plays a HUGE part in the behavior of 9-year-olds girls. Trends spread through the school halls like flames and right now, what's hot is SillyBandz. They are colorful, nylon bands that come in every shape imaginable. There are purple fairies, red peace signs, blue Red Sox logos, all of them stretched around the girls' wrists. They collect and swap them, maybe trading one of the boys a dolphin shaped band for a baseball bat band. One girl expresses her disgust with the trend. "all anyone wants to talk about is SillyBandz! It's so annoying!" She has a kaleidoscope of the stretchy bracelets running up her wrists. The girls want to look "cool". I make the mistake of telling Gianna she looks "cute" in a denim jumper. "I don't want to be cute" she tells me. "I want to be cool" I attempt to explain that by cute, I mean cool, but she interrupts that babies are cute and unless I'm implying that she looks like a baby I shouldn't describe her this way. They dress casually, mostly in jeans and t-shirts. Rachel and her friend, Julie, are big into mis-matched knee socks with different patterns, maybe one rainbow striped, the other: black and white polka-dots. Gianna likes to look "different", pairing a denim pencil skirt with a faded character t-shirt. She says everyone dresses differently and doesn't think there's a general style for 9 year old girls. "Some are sporty, some wear just pants and no skirts, some wear just skirts and no pants." All the girls say their mothers still shop for the clothes, but they have more freedom than they used to when it comes to dressing for the day.

Fairy Godmother Waves her Wand
how culture and society shape the 9 year old female
The girls' speech is quick, light and lilting. Lexi speaks so quickly, I need to ask her to repeat herself numerous times. The language echoes that of Disney Channel characters or stereotypical teenagers. "Peace out", Rachel says when parting ways with her friends. Gianna starts telephone conversations by asking "what's up?" and in tween fashion- Lexi holds an affinity for the word "like". When I ask her if she thinks her name suits her, she answers, "No.... cuz it kinda sounds, like, always sweet and always, like, always kind and always, like, nice and everything." The last three words of the sentence are so rushed I have to pause to make sense of what words the muffled sound may have been. Gianna is fond of asking "What the chiz?", meaning what the heck. She has no idea where the phrase came from or what chiz is, but it doesn't matter. She uses the phrase with out a hint of self-consciousness.

It is not just the fashion and music of pop culture that influences the girls. Their opinions also reflect today's general attitude toward differences of race and culture. I ask Rachel and Gianna about President Obama to see what they know or hear about our president. They don't seem to have any thoughts on the job that he does, just his race. Rachel answers the question like she's writing an essay on equal opportunities: "I believe that we in the United States of America should have men and women from other cultures that should be president"

Oh, Is President Obama from another culture?
Yes.
What culture?
Africa. I think he's an African.
Gianna is less diplomatic. "Yes, I like him. It's good to have a black president. Blacks are better than whites".

We Followed her to School One Day
education and social grouping in third grade
The school the girls attend is one of four elementary schools in town. Both third grade classes have 20+ students. School is "not fun", testing is stressful, homework is worse. They took Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System (MCAS) tests for the first time this year. "That's what we did every class: learn about MCAS."

There is "a lot of drama" at recess. "There is drama with Lexi and the boys" I ask them what drama is and am told I "don't even want to go there". Gianna immediately does her best impression of a girly-girl, saying in a high-pitched, breathy voice, "OMG! (Oh-My-God) Meet my boyfriend" and then in a deeper, casual tone says, "OMG! Meet my girlfriend."

"The drama is HORRIBLY bad" Gianna tells me and Rachel nods in agreement.
"Yeah, it's pretty bad, everyone's like 'I like someone should I ask her out?'" Rachel mimics.

Gianna agrees,"Yeah, like Caitlin and Ryan said they were dating and I said 'Oh yeah? Did you have a romantic dinner under the moonlight?' "

Fights make Rachel sad. "Casey pretends we're not even there". Casey is in their "group", one of about 6 girls who play together at recess. Depending on which girl you ask, the group members vary. Rachel claims an athletic looking brunette named Danielle is part of the group, but Gianna never mentions her name. Lexi, who names Gianna as her "best friend" lists the names of their group. Gianna, Jill, Casey (and two others), leaving Rachel out completely. Not only do they have a tendency to flip-flop friends, they sometimes don't even like them. Gianna names Casey as a friend she doesn't really get along with. Lexi names another girl, Lauren, as a "friend" she doesn't like. "cuz shes mean and tells lies about me and tells people I'm tough and to stay away from me". Then she stops and adds with a shrug, "sometimes we're friends."

The Little Mermaid's Treasure Trove
gadgetry
Two of the girls in class have their own cell phones. "Jenna has a cell phone and texts Danielle", Gianna tells me with absolute contempt. It does not seem to come as jealousy, but more of a parental judgment. Then she reasons that maybe she just has it for emergencies, which, apparently, is acceptable. Even though Rachel and Gianna don't have their own phones, they know how to do everything on them. They are like walking, talking user guides. When i tell Gianna I can't text in all CAPS she picks up my phone and within a minute has figured out how to do what I hadn't been able to in the four weeks I'd had the phone. Later, Gianna borrows her grandfathers phone and texts me. The technologically archaic phone requires Gianna to press one of the numbers up to three times just to type one letter. For instance, to type an L she must press the corresponding key, the 5, three times. "Lets go in the clubhouse" she types with intimidating ease. When they aren't borrowing cell phones they have other ways of communicating. They "talk" to each other on Pictochat. Pictochat is a text messaging program on the Nintendo DS- a hand held video game device. Rachel can't think of one kid in school who doesn't have a DS. The newer ones are "interactive" which means they have built in cameras. The devices can only send messages between them when they are within about a hundred feet of each other, but the girls are happy with that. They lie side-by-side on the clubhouse floor, quietly typing to each other a plan for watching a movie. It would be easier to just say these things to each other, but it wouldn't be as time consuming- or as fun. The point isn't really to communicate- it's that they CAN communicate. It's private and it's just theirs. Try as I might to spy on them, I can't involve myself in a Pictochat session the same way I can eavesdrop on a talk, and that's exactly what they like about it.

They can't remember a time before they used computers. They were playing PC learning games by the time they were three and are familiar with computers in ways most of their grandparents aren't. Rose and Gianna spend hours playing together on a web site called Poptropica. It is an interactive online game that assigns players an avatar to travel around Poptropica- a fictional set of islands- solving puzzles and getting various items and outfits. Players can change clothes, accessories, hairstyles, and facial expressions from other citizens of Poptropica with the click of the mouse. If they see someone they'd rather be, they click that Poptropican and choose which of their characteristics they'd like to take on. "Oh! i want to be her", rose says when she spots a Grecian goddess Poptropican. She clicks the character and chooses her hair, robe and plump pout, instantly becoming her doppelganger.

Meet Prince Charming
Perception of romantic relationships
Gianna has a crush on Cameron, a boy in class. "You know when you get that feeling, like someone just talks to you and it makes you so happy you tingle, like pins and needles? That's what my body does when i think about Cameron." He likes her too and had his friend ask her if she would be his Valentine last Valentines Day. She told him she would like to say yes, but her Mom wouldn't let her have a boyfriend. She confesses to me that she was somewhat relieved to be able to give that answer. "I don't want to hurt anyone", she says. She knows there is another boy in class who has a crush on her and she doesn't want him to feel bad. She kind of likes them both but learned from a bad experience in first grade, when she liked two different boys, that these things can get messy. In first grade, her boyfriend found out that she had accepted this other boy's Valentine. He "dumped" her and continued to hold a grudge through all of second grade. "it's not like I belonged to him" she defended. "But, I don't want that to happen again anyway. I don't think I want a boyfriend".

Rachel likes a different boy in class but gets upset when i ask if he is her boyfriend. "No!" she yells. "I'm only nine! Nine year olds don't have boyfriends". I look at Gianna to gauge whether or not she has taken offense to this. She gives me a big smile and raises her shoulders. Rachel does want a boyfriend someday. She will marry "someone I love" when she grows up. Gianna will marry "a kind, rich man"
Is married life hard? I ask them.Rachel says it is "very difficult." Gianna says it is "amazing and not lonely". Her future-husband "let's me go out"

Rachel: Like a GNO- Girls' Night Out? (this is the title of a Miley Cyrus Song)
Gianna (to Rachel): yeah
me: You need permission to go out?
R: You have to get their permission cuz they might have something to do that night"
G: If my husband is going out with a girl I don't know he needs my permission cuz I don't want him cheating on me"
me: What does cheating mean?
G: It's when you love someone and then they go and love someone else. It's loving two people at the same time who aren't blood related.

I want to question Gianna about where she heard about cheating and if she knows anyone who has cheated, but the comment sparks some different thoughts in Rachel: "I've been thinking about blood relation. When God zapped someone down and they had a baby the babies grew up and had babies together. So, we are all related." I can't ask about cheating after that. The girls are laughing, lost in the thought that all their classmates are related. Their eyes are wide as the rattle off a list of boys; possible suitors, who are also, as it turns out, their brothers.

Facing the Big Bad Wolf
fears
Psychologists say that by adolescence, children have exchanged irrational fears, like boogie-men, for rational ones like natural disaster, violence, rape and kidnappings. Rachel is afraid of "a lot!, spiders, thunder, strangers. I'm afraid of Halloween. Uncle Tony decorates his house with all skeletons and spider webs and sits outside dressed up like the Grim Reaper. I don't want to walk by it." Gianna thinks life was better when she was younger, "because I didn't know about things like LNG (liquefied natural gas) or lightening." Lexi can't think of anything she's afraid of at first, then finally says "sleeping over Gianna's". I ask what scares her at Gianna's. "Oh, I don't know, like ghosts or, like, monsters."

The House is Made of Straw
understanding consequences and learning to build with bricks.
These girls, at age 9, have an understanding that there are consequences to their actions. The three girls name tests as something that makes them nervous. Lexi, who is passionate about Karate, wants good grades so she can gain approval from her Shihon. Bad grades would be a sign that she's not applying herself to her studies. If she gets "too many bad grades" she could be suspended from participating in Karate. She didn't used to think about it. This year, the threat of consequence has kept her actively trying to maintain good behavior and good scores.

It isn't just the immediate future that they are now able to consider. The girls have much more realistic dreams of their future selves than they did just a couple years ago. As 7 year-olds they had dreams of becoming a professional soccer player, a singer or an actress. Now, Lexi and Gianna have hopes of becoming teachers, Rachel- a meteorologist. Rachel has even been considering what college she'll attend. "I'm going to Providence College after I graduate High school. It's only a 20 minute drive from home"

Happily Ever After, After All
(at least for now)
Rose and Gianna find a black beetle in the pool, bobbing and diving in the water. They scoop it up and quarantine it in a bucket, watching it closely. "What if this is some species no one discovered that's been around forever, like dinosaurs?"
"it might be worth, like a thousand dollars"
"A million!" Rose corrects her. They want to keep the bug in a tank until they find out what it's worth.

Only children have such hope- though as adults we have "adult hope" about "adult" things, like finding a soul mate. Adult hope is approached with a win or lose attitude and cynicism, already resentful of the knowing that this thing just isn't what we hope it will be. The grown woman wants Prince charming, but knows he doesn't exist.

As it turns out, this isn't an insect from the paleolithic era. It's just a regular bug. "People already know about it? Darn!", Rose says, still smiling. "I guess we don't get a million dollars," Gianna says, looking at Rose. They dump the bucket out and the beetle scurries away and disappears. "Let's go in the pool!" They run off, onto the deck and cannonball into the pool and spend the rest of the day as Fairy-Mermaids. Magical. They flutter their wings, treading water. Then, holding their breath, they dive down under the water. They see how long they can stay there.